Self-giving – Suzy Cornflakes

We frequently hear promises of change during elections. We hope that whomever we vote for or support will align with what we would like to see happen. We count on it. And then promises are not all fulfilled. We become disappointed, some become depressed or despondent. Perhaps the person we wanted in the office didn’t get elected. Avoiding partisanship is easy for someone who is a peacemaker at heart. Whomever is in office will be bound to do some good things and some bad things. Tragically, some will suffer. The suffering is not to be dismissed and one should not turn a blind eye to it. I’ve written about my worldview on this and how to cope and try to make a difference.

When disappointed with aspects of the world and our culture think what can I do to protect myself and my family, how to educate them and help them to be resilient? What can I do to try to improve my community and the planet? Regarding the latter, there was news that some of our recycling may not end up where it is supposed to, instead, dumped in a landfill. It could be true. Though my attempts might be meager compared to those of others, I will still try to recycle what I can, and investigate the veracity of the claim.

Regarding community, the other day we passed a bedraggled man begging on the side of the road at an intersection. His sign announced that he was 65 years old and homeless. I only had a 5 dollar bill but pulled over. There was no traffic. I asked the man his name. He looked surprised as he revealed a huge, sad smile, “Rodney, Ma’am. Thank you so much!” As we pulled away I called out, “Bye, Rodney, we’ll keep you in our prayers!” Later the same morning, as we headed back to the highway we saw him again and waved out through the window, “Bye, Rodney!” In my rearview mirror he enthusiastically waved back until we were out of sight.

I am not telling this story to toot my own horn; honestly, I could have been totally taken. One might say that was an act of stupidity and gullibility. Could he use it on a cheap bottle of alcohol? Could he secretly have a home? Maybe. But that is between Rodney and God. My kids saw an example that I would prefer them to see over complaining or calling someone like Rodney a name. God has the big picture and somehow an act of good, even if seemingly redundant or ineffective, puts good energy into the world.

What saps our energy? Toxic people, you may have discovered, drain your energy and may even hurt you. Memes on social media encourage us to jettison these types. We should indeed protect ourselves, not set ourselves up in yet another situation with people who we know will take advantage of us or demean us mercilessly. But rather than hate them or vilify them, try to pray for them. The energy when we protect ourselves is even greater when we avoid hatred or resentment of the other.

This morning I was putting my feet up just for a few minutes before getting my son from school. I put on the end of an old episode of Downton Abbey. As Amazon transitioned to the next episode, it inserted a preview of another show it “thought” I might like. Well I didn’t. The sudden image of a bloody murder with a woman screaming. Oh, nice — thanks, Amazon. Now, I don’t mind a mystery, but I do not go for overt violence and gore. How many children see this trailer and others like it? No wonder our children are so full of anxiety about the world, and are depressed in record numbers.

It is simple to change a channel or look away from the television, and we have always needed to be careful with what our children watch. We should warn and educate them according to their age. We can note our opinions in feedback polls. Recently I reduced my time on Facebook, finding that Instagram, properly managed, will show me pictures of beautiful gardens, amazing geodes and sublime interior decorating. It could probably become as irritating as Facebook was during the US Presidential elections, but it seems easier to control what is displayed and it is peaceful, educational and relaxing.

You may have discovered other ways to make your world more peaceful. Do protect yourself. Hope and pray for others in the meantime. There are too many who suffer and we need to be at our personal best in order to help them. The end is thus the reason for the means. Change begins within ourselves however incrementally, but it does not stay there. Like concentric ripples in a pond, even tiny changes for the good move outward, until they affect the wider surface of the pond.

What are your gifts? Each of us is endowed with them. We are encouraged to share our gifts, yet sometimes our lives are not in the right place to do so. We may be fighting an illness, dealing with chronic pain or a new diagnosis. We may be momentarily overwhelmed by financial or familial needs. These are neither the times to feel guilty for not sharing, nor for denying the responsibility and truth of the precept.

I watched The Black Panther for the first time this past weekend. Curiosity piqued by news of Chadwick Boseman’s young death and the fact that he had suffered in silence for years battling cancer, I hijacked the Disney control from my special needs daughter and navigated over from the umpteenth viewing of The Princess and the Frog to The Black Panther. She liked it. She has great taste.

I saw 42 and Get on Up, not realizing Boseman was the lead in both. The man was a phenom. He should go down in the books with the greats. I look forward to watching 21 Bridges in the near future. He is flawless as King T’Challa, ruler of the African country of Wakanda. Interestingly, the country has the same pronunciation of the Osage word for spirit of the Creator.

Without spoiling, we learn early in the movie that a meteor landed long ago in Wakanda and deposited a substance called Vibranium with powers unlike any on earth. The people learned how to harness the power and it informed and developed their culture over time. They realized the danger of such a power and took on the responsibility of hiding it. They became far more advanced than any other civilization.

A great start to an engaging action adventure. But the movie goes so much farther than simple entertainment. A marginalized and discriminated population proves to be the most advanced and strong. The role of women is powerful and arguably salvific in this movie. There is outright evil portrayed in some characters, and there is right intention gone bad in others–with the awareness of the need to change and to be humbled. There is love and humor and courage.

In the real world, humanity has missed the mark a lot in terms of caring for itself and for our planet. We will probably continue to do so, but we must strive to forge something more powerful than even Vibranium, and that is Love. Love, goodness, caring, sharing…they are more than words from preschool television shows. As Vibranium was deposited in the place where all human DNA originated, love is deposited in every human heart.

Yes, we may miss the mark, but far more than our goals or accomplishments, it is the journey of life which defines us. No person is inconsequential. One dot on an Impressionist painting may seem insignificant when viewed close-up, yet in the eye and hand of the Artist, each dot is specific, calculated, intentional, planned, conceived of, colored to perfection. From afar, the painting is a masterpiece, each dot integral to the others.

Chadwick Boseman visited and befriended children who were suffering from cancer. They inspired him. He gave them joy. He did not let on to the media that he was suffering nor even to his fellow actors as he pushed himself through cancer pain to complete his lines and action. He did what he needed to try to heal, or at least to rest in between movies and takes. One fellow actor chided that Boseman was perhaps full of himself for having a close support staff around him during filming. The man later apologized for the error when Boseman died, seeing that he did what he could to heroically get through.

Instead of seeking pity and riling about the injustice of a very unjust disease, Boseman gave of himself to fans, to his loved ones, and to suffering children. More than his awards will ever immortalize his career, his love and self-sacrifice inspire the best in humanity.

Tag: Self-giving

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