Yes, up for air and it feels good. I once gave birth to beautiful babies, but now it seems my generative powers best create new diagnoses. I won’t elaborate, but the latest caused the need for lumbar fusion surgery three weeks ago and it was rough! I’m doing better now. I’m very careful with pain medications as I know the dangers of opioid addiction. And yet, they are necessary for recovering from serious surgery and serious pain. I’m weaning off, thank goodness. Bruce walks with me every day.
My childhood friend Bev suggested that I get to writing again. She was my first writing companion, and six decades later she continues to encourage me. I have some ideas. Honestly, what I’d like to accomplish most is an autobiography for my children. So often I’ll tell a fun story from my past and my sons will remark they’d never heard it before. The four sons range from 23 down to 17; the six girls from 37 to 16. With all my diagnoses piling up I feel I want to “get to it.” None are grave, but as I age I see how precious life is, and how very fast it goes.
We have six grandchildren now. Four live too far away in Ohio and Tennessee and I miss them terribly. Two are nearby and I see them frequently. We live in the suburbs south of Kansas City on a pretty street lined with homes built in the 1960s. At first I really missed the scenery of Fort Leavenworth and the vistas of our farm in Atchison, but this is perfect for us right now. Bruce and I have designed a pretty front and back yard on about a quarter of an acre. With my back, with both our bad backs, really, we have plenty enough to do. I cannot believe all I used to accomplish in my thirties, forties and fifties. I sigh deeply. It is now a different time.
I like being retired. For decades I ran from one job or task to another. It took cancer and serious illnesses to slow me down. Did my pace in life contribute to the illnesses? Probably. But that was who I was and I’m finally at a point in life where I can look back and be proud of myself. I know that I could only have done it by the grace and strength of God. I am so grateful for my life, for my family and friends and experiences.
I’m up, and I fill my lungs with God’s breath, readying for whatever comes next. Blessings to you all!
Suzy Cornflakes 