Wither into Truth

Days of youth pass into memory

Though leaves are many, the root is one

Through all the lying days of my youth I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun

Now I may wither into the truth. 

W.B. Yeats

Wisdom is attributed to the old for good reason. Our life experiences are numerous and our perspective deepens despite our weakened physical appearance. We “wither into the truth.”

Though we age, we are often called upon to continue physically caring for others. We must seek a balance in order to remain strong for those we love. Self-sacrifice that is all-draining renders us exhausted and unable to help anyone.

We are reminded of Jesus’ example but must remember that he did take time to sleep. I imagine that he ate healthy food and cared for his health, enabling him to care better for others. When the time was right and not too soon, he gave all. Most of us will not be in the position of sacrificing our lives, but we are all called to self-donation, to giving, and to some form of self-sacrifice.

Life is a juggle of self-care without self-centeredness, of self-sacrifice without self-destruction. It is at times difficult and even counterintuitive.

And then loss occurs. Tragedies visit more often or earlier in life for some: loss of health, of a partner, of a loved one, of abilities, of home, of youth…

I search for a better concept of loss. If inevitable, how does one best deal with it? I truly think it is with gratitude and acceptance. Pleasurable life experiences are easy to accept and be grateful for, but I am striving to be thankful even for premature losses and for tragedies. Certainly not that they occurred and hurt myself and others, but that life continued and God was there to comfort us with loved ones, with future life experiences, with a “peace that passes all understanding.”

It does seem counterintuitive. I have lost a dear husband early in life. It was tragic. Many people still feel the effects of the loss of him though over 20 years have passed. And yet, had he not died, Bruce and I would not have found each other, and our six children and four grandchildren would not have been born. I stagger in the profundity of emotional pain and of God’s grace.

I search to find meaning in physical pain, so hard to bear, so hard to witness. I do not believe that it is in vain. I ponder why some suffer so greatly, and feel that there is truth in the belief that their prayers and influence are profoundly powerful.

We are called to be generative in old age and thus if we are physically feeble, perhaps this is accomplished in our words, or modeling peace, or praying, or just loving. If cared for by others we become the means for their gain in grace.

“Now I may wither into the truth.”

Yeats contemplates the beguilement of his youth, and reveals to us that as we wither physically and surrender control, we have the greatest opportunity to gain in wisdom, influence and love.

Autumn and Life

Yesterday was the Autumnal Equinox and wow, did it deliver the perfect weather here. My favorite cool, sunny weather continues into today. A woman I passed this morning said that she would always wish to live in a place with all four seasons. While I love the fresh colors of Spring and the lush green of Summer, the deciduous trees are in their glory in the early Fall.

I have always lived in this latitude of North America. The cyclical four seasons truly become a part of you. Perhaps being acclimated to these cycles prepares one to navigate the changing seasons of life. When I was young I would hear the “old people” talk about how fast life has gone. At that time I looked so forward to being an adult. I could not imagine that it would arrive so swiftly, and along with it so many responsibilities. Parenthood or career consumes us and in a moment decades have passed. Retirement looms, maybe even disability and great losses. Our children grow up and move on independently with their own busy lives. The “young” co-workers become in-charge of the business. Even some of our physicians look as young as teenagers.

The biggest difference with these seasons of life, however, is that they are not cyclical but linear. We do age and, God-willing, we grow old. As Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer hold their negative bits like wind, ice, days inside when it is either too frigid or too hot, aging has its challenges and losses.

Like these first crisp days of Autumn, focusing on the beautiful things in our lives, the laughter, and the blessings will keep us more positive, more productive, generative, and most healthy. Like it or not we affect others. While working on ourselves, honoring grief and healing from our challenges and losses, our example speaks to others. Our thoughts and prayers become mighty.

Some of life’s seasons are more pleasant than others, but each day holds the potential of grace, of gift.